Season of Goodwill

A cautionary tale concerning the dangers of overdoing the seasonal tippling. The narrative voice is from the female point of view. Any resemblance to a popular song is purely coincidental.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,

You tried to impress, by lighting a fart.

Then you threw up in the sink

And put it all down to high jinks.

Then when, you swore at my mum

You'd the nerve to maintain, it was in fun.

When she said you were rash,

You just jeered at her moustache.

When you tripped over the cat,

You just blamed him, for being fat.

I said, you were an arse,

The whole thing was just a farce.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,

You tried to impress, by lighting a fart.

This year, I may turn queer,

Unless I find someone better.

See also: 

http://stephen-wylie.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/christmas-shopping.html