Wrath of the Barber

"Have you been cutting your own hair?"
I shrink from barber's angry glare.
For murder and rape I could be forgiven,
But from this sin I can't be shriven:
I've cut my own hair.

A crime against all barberkind,
It's seen as outright scabbery.
Useless to hope he will not mind,
He views it as sheer robbery
That I've cut my own hair.

It was getting in my way,
So I hacked at it with scissors.
Driven to distraction,
I braved the wrath of haircut sellers,
And dared to trim my own hair.

I knew a day of reckoning
Must inevitably come.
I never met a barber yet
Willing to keep mum
About me cutting my own hair.